“Today, I have accountability. I am honest with everything. All my dirt is on the table, so what do I have to hide anymore? My kids are back in my life. I have a nicer house now than I ever had in addiction. I have more support than I have ever had. I can be present in these important moments. I am reliable. I am doing God’s will, not mine.”
‘GOD’S WILL NOT MY OWN’: KURTIS’ M28 STORY
Kurtis reflects on his childhood as one marked by rebellion and duality. At home, he maintained the demeanor expected of a dutiful son, yet he embraced an entirely different identity once he stepped outside. This split life ultimately led to his placement in a juvenile facility. He looks back on that experience as a turning point—a form of healing before any addiction took hold, as it quelled some of his aggressive impulses. However, the transition from his mother’s controlled environment to the rigid structure of placement was jarring. Once he moved into his apartment, he discovered he lacked vital real-world skills, still stuck in a youthful mindset even as he approached his twenties. At 21, he was unprepared to shoulder adult responsibilities.
MY FIRST LOVE: WEED
In his early twenties, Kurtis was introduced to weed, and it quickly became his obsession. Although he occasionally lacked a reliable dealer, he was always eager to smoke whenever the opportunity arose. This marked the beginning of his descent into addiction, a cycle fueled by an endless craving for ‘more’—more highs, more experiences, and more spending. His drug use spiraled when he turned to cocaine, which he would use intermittently for nearly two decades, always accompanied by his persistent relationship with weed.
ROCK BOTTOM
At his lowest point, Kurtis found himself homeless and consumed by addiction, constantly searching for a party where he could use acid, molly, or cocaine. If a party wasn’t readily available, he would orchestrate one just to secure a way to get high and a place to sleep for the night. In moments when he wasn’t homeless, he held a job but resorted to using drugs throughout the workday, even stealing money from the cash register. His life was further complicated by a toxic marriage, where the cycle of drug use followed him into the night, entrenching him deeper into a world of chaos and despair.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
In the stark confines of his jail cell, Kurtis faced the weight of a false accusation from his ex-wife, claiming he had abused their child. Overwhelmed, he thought, “Enough is enough.” With time to reflect, he recognized the recklessness of his twenties and the wasted years of his thirties—a life that felt like it belonged to someone else. At that moment, reality hit him—he had nothing. His children, the essence of his being, were out there, and he was powerless to be with them. Driven by the absence he felt from his father, Kurtis was determined to be a better man for his daughters. Yet, his addiction had kept him from them. While incarcerated, he began to confront his demons. Acknowledging his addiction was painful but necessary. It sparked a fierce commitment to change; he wanted to break the cycle of pain for his girls. Seeking solace, he turned to God, hoping to find strength on his path to sobriety. With each day, Kurtis dedicated himself to becoming the father his daughters deserved, ready to reclaim his life.
“I read through the bible twice when I was locked up because where else do you turn?”
LIFE IS DIFFERENT TODAY
With his children back in his life and reconnecting with his mother and mother-in-law, Kurtis is finally the dependable son and father he has always aspired to be. He possesses the strength to be that steady figure for everyone around him. Grateful for the guidance and mentorship from M28, he appreciates their support in helping him furnish the home [through the House2Home project], where he now shares 50% custody of his children. M28 has become a vital space for intertwining his faith and recovery. Acknowledging that he is a work in progress, Kurtis embraces his identity as both a person with a substance use disorder and a Christian, understanding that he doesn’t need to be perfect.
“When it comes to my recovery. If anyone is going to interfere with my recovery or my family, they have no place in my life. I am not afraid to block someone out of my life that would interfere with my progress.”
Learn more about how you can impact someone’s life by volunteering with M28 Ministry.
